panera bread now sells a “gluten conscious monster nut cookie” bc my life wasn’t weird enough without customers asking me “can i get that monster nut” five times a day
More recently, I’ve been asking Grindr users in and around Edinburgh whether they believe the United Kingdom should withdraw from the European Union. Here is a representative sample of the replies:
STATISTICS:
I was only able to question 327 users before Grindr moderators intervened. 151 users left some kind of response. Of these, 108 settled on a yes or no answer.
81.48% (88) would like to REMAIN in the European Union.
18.52% (20) would like to EXIT the European Union.
Other responses can be divided as follows:
10 Undecided 8 Don’t care 8 Miscellaneous evasion
6 None of my business 3 Too bewildered to answer 3 Too horny to engage politically 3 Turned out to be a spambot 2 Incomprehensible
(This leaves 38 users who presumably blocked me by the time the results were counted. Any responses they may have given are not counted here.)
In conclusion, Scottish Grindr users are overwhelmingly against leaving the European Union. With it looking increasingly doubtful that such a comfortable victory for remainers will be reflected in the broader United Kingdom’s vote in the upcoming referendum, Grindr may have to consider declaring itself an independent nation to remain in the EU.